Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Roberts' Nominations Contested Early

July 19; 9:55 p.m. Minutes after President Bush announced his nomination of John Roberts Jr. to the Supreme Court, Senate Democrats revealed information undiscovered by the White House in its thorough search of Roberts' past.

"I have knowledge that [Judge Roberts] smokes crack and once killed a hooker," claimed Ted Kennedy (D-MA), "and the Supreme Court is certainly no place for kinky-sex felon-junkies." News agencies later verified that Kennedy's comments were referring to the nominee and not himself.

Ralph Neas of People for the Unamerican Way decried that Roberts "is extremely outside the mainstream of American values, which favor abortion-on-demand, tyrannical government for Iraqis and a reimposition of the Smoot-Hawley Tariff."

Moveon.org is already urging its members to write to senators and oppose this "right wing lawyer and corporate lobbyist." If that is true, Judge Roberts probably shouldn't be elevated to the Supreme Court, because he is certainly *not* a registered lobbyist, a federal crime if he is indeed lobbying.

Only time will tell if any of the left's claims will be substantiated, and the clock has started counting down.

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