Thursday, October 13, 2005

U.N. Official Fears Time Is Running Out for U.N. Survival

New York, NY: The United Nations Relief Coordinator, Jan Egeland, toured the Trump-controlled part of New York City today to assess the aid and relief operation for the hundreds and thousands of people affected by the worst global association of governments ever created, next to the League of Nations.

Aid slowly poured in today from all parts of the world even as the UN Ambassador for French-Iraqi Special Receptions Jean-Bernard Merimee was questioned for allegedly "holding onto a few bucks" for former Iraqi dictator and current Iraqi prisoner of the month Saddam Hussein.

So far, untold millions have died as a direct result of the UN as their Prize-winning staff of nucular dentally-impaired watchdogs have roamed the countryside.

In a televised address last night, UN Supreme Master "H. N." Annan called for the world to have a renewed faith in the organization.

"This is the biggest tragedy that we have faced," he said. "All means of opposing the US and the evil George "W" Bush have been thwarted. However, we have faith that with the continuing failures in Iraq we can be confident that their next leader will be fearful of the UN's strongly worded rebukes." Annan noted that although his organization's effectiveness has waned in recent years, he can always be confident of the aforementioned George Bush's support.

"The UN and its many agencies do not survive on bread alone," said Annan. "Oh, and thanks for the $1.2 billion."

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